


the risks we take (and the choices we make)

by potstickermaster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, But like there's a proposal?, F/F, Writing Exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 05:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12742266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potstickermaster/pseuds/potstickermaster
Summary: They get married and they consummate their marriage for weeks, like a festival and a celebration just for the two of them, their bodies temples and each other are worshippers. Every word is a prayer, an offering, and the vows during their wedding are repeated over and over, through and above the haze of pleasured moans and screams of each other’s names that the whole world can not know that Kara is Lena’s, and Lena is Kara’s, and they are for each other, for always.//Lena loses Kara, and Kara finds her way back to her again.





	the risks we take (and the choices we make)

She proposes to Lena in the middle of summer, after one of her TED Talks. Lena looks so perplexed when she sees her raise her hand after asking if the crowd had any other questions, but the engineer-slash-CEO, among other various titles, calls her up the mic anyway. Kara comes up to the middle of the huge auditorium, Kryptonian heart on her sleeve and confidence faltering with every step. The blonde grins at the woman on the stage and Lena rolls her eyes playfully. Everyone’s eyes are on them. Everyone knows who they are.

Lena Luthor, CEO of L-Corp, genius billionaire, Nobel Prize winner for Physics and Peace, most powerful woman in National City.

Kara Danvers, senior editor and soon-to-be CEO of CatCo Worldwide Media, Pulitzer Prize winner for two consecutive years—and, to the knowledge of the speaker and some of the audience members, Supergirl, the most powerful woman in National City, _literally._

Kara clears her throat as she walks up to the mic and accidentally bumps it with her chin, making it tumble—almost, but she catches it in time. She nervously fixes it back up and laughs, quite awkwardly and loudly, on the mic. The crowd chuckles and Lena smiles that smile that’s reserved just for her—one of fondness and the odd disbelief that sometimes finds itself on the raven-haired woman’s heart, as if she couldn’t quite believe that Kara was real, or _hers._

“Erm, sorry about that. Hi,” the blonde breathes into the mic. There’s a certain tremor in her voice and the worry crawls into the corner of Lena’s eyes. “I’m, um, Kara Danvers, from CatCo Worldwide Media, and I’d like to ask if, um…” Kara clears her throat again, fiddles with her glasses she still insists on wearing, shoves her hand in her right jeans pocket, then clears her throat again. Bright blue eyes sparkle from the light in the auditorium and from something like tears held back with effort, and when she sighs and finally pulls out the black velvet box from her pocket, the whole room gasps and time seems to stand still at the same time. “If you would marry me and make me the happiest woman in the world.”

Before she could even finish her sentence, Lena is dropping the microphone she was holding to run down the stage in her heels, elegance still in her every step and tears on those gorgeous emerald eyes. She collides into Kara’s arms, a star upon another star, a burst of light and hope, waves and energy that shake the auditorium to its feet in applause because who would have thought? A Luthor and a Super.

(Or, in the eyes of everyone else, a bisexual power couple.)

Lena, for the first time in thirty-two years, shatters all the walls she had build in favor of kissing Kara in front of everyone—all the vulnerabilities of the remaining Luthor exposed to everyone’s eyes, but protected in the arms of the National City’s heroine—the woman that is her entire world.

Kara, for the first time in thirty-five years (save the twenty-four she spends in limbo), forgets about everything—the loss of her people, her planet, the weight of the responsibilities of the crest she wears, her lack of humanity in every aspect of her being but her soul—and trusts herself to be human and _vulnerable,_ for once, and surrenders all the strength she possesses, to the woman in her arms—the woman that is her entire world.

Lena kisses her, kisses her again, chuckles, and says yes.

//

Kara first sees her in her dreams.

She doesn’t quite know when and how it all started, but she first sees her in a dream, a novelty given her previously dreamless life. She finds herself gasping awake in the middle of the night feeling empty and craving for that woman with black hair and pale skin and beautiful emerald eyes that remind her of home, somehow, though home is there all around her, the familiar bed in the familiar room in the familiar apartment in the busiest part of National City.

Never has she wished she lived in her dreams. There’s an itch in her mind that manifests itself on her ring finger and she hates it.

She doesn’t have a single idea who the woman was, not a strand of clue, but somehow, her heart breaks one night when she wakes up, after yet another dream about her with dark hair and green eyes, and she hears the woman speak.

_“You’ve always protected me, Kara. Let me protect you this time.”_

She wracks her head for anyone at all with that voice but found that she matches no one in her memory. She searches the resources at CatCo, all available at her disposal as CEO, but finds no one, so Kara decides to live in her dreams for a while, sleeping as much as she could in hopes of realizing who that beautiful woman is and why, in all the most painful of ways, would she say words like that to her.

That was, until the dreams stopped coming.

//

They plan their wedding with nerves and excitement. The hustle and bustle of it all they work through with petty arguments, screaming fights, hushed conversations and steamy sex, but they carry through despite all the little moments of them almost getting wed, out of nowhere, just because it was easy and Kara could bring them to the nearest church or wedding officiant anywhere in the world.

For all the money and fame that Kara and Lena they had, they choose an intimate wedding—of one during the fall, beneath the foliage of trees with fire as leaves that remind the Kryptonian of her planet, that remind the Luthor of the hell she’d been through, that remind them both that despite all odds, they’re together, and this is their rebirth, as one. She wears a long, white dress that present her a goddess among men, and she wears a long, white dress too, that show her clean and pure unlike the last name she carries—the name she sheds that day.

Lena goes first, like she wished, because if she hears what Kara has to say first she’ll break and the vows would go unheard of. She slips on the blonde’s finger a platinum ring, engraved upon it the name of her House in her native tongue, and vows to love, and cherish, and above all, be good.

And Kara, for all the strength she is supposed to have under the Earth’s yellow sun, breaks at her every word. It is with trembling hands, supposedly able to hold up ships and spacecrafts, that she slips a matching ring on Lena’s finger, engraved upon it her promises of eternal love for the woman that is her sun. She vows to love, to cherish, and most of all to always protect her, until the last of her breaths.

They get married and they consummate their marriage for weeks, like a festival and a celebration just for the two of them, their bodies temples and each other, worshippers. Every word is a prayer, an offering, and the vows during their wedding are repeated over and over, through and above the haze of pleasured moans and screams of each other’s names that the whole world can _not_ know that Kara is Lena’s, and Lena is Kara’s, and they are for each other, for always.

//

Kara first sees her in the flesh when she steps into the CEO's office of L-Corp. She’s only ever seen her on photos and videos, or from afar. She is to be interviewed as the head of corporate communications—a field that’s not as noble as journalism but hey, that doesn’t mean she would stop helping people with the power of the pen. She’s beautiful, that much Kara would admit: dangerous power and delicate elegance all in one person in the form of Miss Lena Luthor. Kara stammers like she’s a cub reporter fresh from under Cat Grant’s wings at Miss Luthor’s gaze, intense and defenseless all at the same time.

Still, she’s nothing if not a professional, so she works through Miss Luthor’s seemingly distracted questions. She keeps looking at the open balcony door like she’s expecting someone to arrive there anytime soon, but that’s impossible because they’re more that thirty floors up and really, the only one who can come crashing in is Superman. Unless they're friends.

Kara doesn’t think she’d get the position, but no matter, she’s still senior editor at CatCo and that’s good enough.

At the end of the interview, Miss Luthor stands and offers her hand. Kara shakes her hand and wonders if she’s still nervous after half an hour of questioning by National City’s most powerful woman but realizes with confusion that it’s the CEO whose hand is trembling. She wants to ask if she’s okay but when Kara looks up from their joined hands, she sees Miss Luthor looking at her, like _looking_ at her as if she’s peering into her soul, though oddly, she doesn’t feel uncomfortable. The opposite, actually; she feels warmth spreading through her chest, like she’s on the beach and basking in the sun, and she doesn’t know why. Miss Luthor smiles at her and pulls her hand away.

“I hope it’s not the last time I see you around,” the CEO says, and she forgets all about the pretty disastrous interview because there’s a flicker of hope in those words.

Kara beams, and she thinks she imagines it when Miss Luthor gapes, just for a second, like she’s in disbelief, like she couldn’t quite believe that Kara was real, or there in front of her.

“I hope not,” Kara says, and it’s with a bounce in her steps that she leaves her office, but she leaves her thoughts and heart with that raven-haired woman.

//

They hadn’t anticipated that the red kryptonite would have more extreme effects. Cadmus, though long dead, lives through the ill intent of those who still believe in the cause, and their strain of kryptonite finds Supergirl and destroys her to her very core.

Lena has the chance to tell her she loves her dearly, for always, before Supergirl breaks her, and when she wakes up it’s days after and Alex tells her that the DEO has the heroine in custody but the Kara Danvers that she knows, that she _loves,_ is gone, replaced by the hatred that simmers in her bones and words that seethe promises to turn the world into rubble upon which new Krypton would be born.

Lena breaks at that news, beyond her crushed ribs and burnt skin, and breaks all over again when she visits Kara after begging Alex and J’onn to let her see her wife. She’s strapped on a bed in a room that bleeds red—like the fire of the autumn trees under which they got married, like the landscapes of Kara Zor-El’s dead planet, like the hell Lena has been through. Like the hell she’s dragged back to. She breaks at the woman’s words, all hate and vengeance and unlike the wife she had loved— _loves,_ the wife she loves for always—and she clutches breathlessly on the ring around her finger, it’s match gone from Kara’s own, tells herself that this isn’t her wife, this isn’t the love of her life, her entire world, yet despite all odds, they’re here together.

They’re together. And at whatever cost, she will bring her Kara back.

“You’ve always protected me, Kara,” she whispers brokenly through the glass, and she hopes her wife is listening despite her despicable screams and threats. “Let me protect you this time.”

//

She invites Kara to brunch, some days after her transfer to L-Corp, and Kara agrees because Lena’s her boss and she could use a friend in her new company, and well, Lena had asked in the most bashful and endearing of ways that Kara was caught off-guard and she found herself just saying _yes, of course, please!_

Also because Lena’s so beautiful and elegant and Kara feels like her heart skips every time, or like it’s about to burst every time she sees her, or even _thinks_ of her.

They get Chinese food, much to Kara’s delight, and it’s with a mouthful of potstickers that she tells her new boss—the most powerful woman in National City, for heaven’s sake—that they’re her favorite and Lena is her favorite now that she’s indulged her with them.

“You’re my favorite,” she thinks she hears Lena whisper, and Kara almost chokes when she looks up to see green eyes shiny, not with the laughter Kara expects she’d have at the sight of a middle-aged woman shoving potstickers in her mouth, but with longing, somewhat, and Kara asks if potstickers are Lena’s favorite too, because they can definitely share.

Lena laughs, and Kara’s heart catches in her throat with how beautiful the sound is—fitting for a lovely creature like her, and the blonde wonders what planet she’s from because she’s certain such a goddess could not be of Earth.

They return to her office, laughter still on their lips and paper bags of donuts in their hands.

“Well. As head of my corporate communications I trust that you’ll defend my company from naysayers,” Lena smiles as she puts her own paper bag on her immaculate white table. Kara chuckles, adjusts her glasses, and grins.

“I’ll always protect you,” Kara says, and she thinks she responded with the wrong thing when she sees a flash of sadness in Lena’s eyes. She’s moved, must be her bleeding heart, but Lena just smiles and Kara finds herself smiling back.

“See you around, Miss Danvers,” Lena whispers. Kara nods, bounces on her feet and leaves, leaving her heart in the room with the woman.

//

It almost costs Kara her life and Alex is furious at her, but no one is as furious at Lena Luthor but herself. But she vowed Kara that she’ll love and cherish and _be good,_ and she swore that she will bring Kara back, at whatever cost.

She stands outside of the laboratory which has served as home for the last daughter of Krypton for the last couple of weeks, and it might as well have been the coffin for the rest of the planet and its race. Superman—Kal—may be a Kryptonian, but his being so ends with his physiology and his little museum hidden in ice. Kara Zor-el is truly the last of them, and she dies as she’s stripped off of everything that made her Kryptonian. It’s their last hope, a desperate attempt that Lena had to ultimately decided upon, after days and nights of tears and unending agony.

Kara is forced into humanity, if only to salvage her, and Supergirl is gone. Kara Zor-El is gone. Lena’s wife is gone too, but Kara Danvers lives, and Lena’s agony remains endless.

//

Kara kisses Lena, one time, after so many weeks, under the stars in a familiar forest that whispered promises of _for always_ to Lena. Her heart soars, hopes, and she wonders if she had acquired the strength she had removed from Kara because she doesn’t break. Yet. The end of her agony seems within reach, those bright blue eyes looking at her like she’s the world, like before, _like before._

“Do you remember?” Lena asks, and the end of the tunnel vanishes with the confusion on Kara’s face.

“Remember what?” She asks.

//

Kara isn’t sure if it’s the lighting in this lovely forest this time of the year, with color of fire all around them and the stars bearing witness to their first kiss, but she thinks she sees sadness in those emerald eyes again. There is sheer power in those green eyes that could bring Kara to her knees, if only to search for the answers that could take away the suffering that was in them. Not that she knew what the reason for that hurt is.

“Nothing,” Lena says with a small smile.

Kara has never felt such weight in a single word. She swallows and cups Lena’s cheeks, holding her as if she’s the most important thing in the world—like she’s her world—kisses her again like her lips are hope and Kara is a sinking ship.

“I love you,” Kara says, words bold and vulnerable all the same. “I feel like I’ve known you all my life, and if you’d let me, I would like to know you for the rest."

Kara thinks she says the wrong thing when Lena just looks at her like she put the stars in the sky, and she looks back into green eyes from which she could see galaxies and craft stories upon stories from. Then Lena smiles, finally—it’s one of fondness, and there’s a strain of what seems like disbelief in it, as if she couldn’t quite believe that Kara was real, or right here, or _hers_ as she bares her heart, but Kara holds her like she’s her world and Lena melts into her and cries.

“I love you too, Kara,” she whispers, and Kara is sure now—she’s sure now. Lena is her world.

**Author's Note:**

> This was an exercise on perspectives and non-linear writing, things I am very shitty with, so feedback is most welcome. If anyone's wondering, third chapter of hold me my dear will be up this weekend, promise!


End file.
